Born to be Wild?

“Born to be Wild?”

Greg Martin

My friend Mike preached one of his first sermons built around Paul’s statement that we are “saints by calling,” and the question of whether we tend to think of ourselves primarily as sinners or saints. As I listened to his message, I kept thinking about something that I am fond of saying. I enjoy hunting as well as shooting sports such as trap, skeet, sporting clays, etc. and I am a member at a local gun club. I often make the connection between shooting and church by saying: "I go to the gun club for the same reason that I go to church. I go to the gun club, not because I am a good shot, but because I am a bad shot and I want to get better. Likewise I go to church, not because I am a saint, but because I am a sinner and I want to get better".

While this typically draws a smile from my listeners, Mike’s message that day made me think that perhaps I might just have it backwards. Perhaps my shooting would be improved if I were to think of myself as a good shot who occasionally misses rather than as a bad shot who occasionally hits the target. Likewise if I am called to be a saint, my walk of faith might just be improved if I were to think of myself as a saint who occasionally sins rather than as a sinner who occasionally walks according to the will of God.

Let me pause here to say that I am a sinner. I know that. Thanks to my wayward older brother Adam and my impetuous sister Eve I was born into a fallen world and I am a sinner only to be saved by grace. Got it.

When faced with a difficult topic I am fond of taunting my Sunday school class with the battle cry of the elementary schooler..."So what?...Who cares?". I think as Christians we have to pick up that battle cry sometimes and apply it to our walk of faith. As in, "So I am a sinner...So what? Who cares?" And, taken a step further..."What am I supposed to do about it?" I'd like to take a swing at answering that...to build on the concept of "saints by calling".

Just because I am a sinner doesn't mean that I am a victim forever destined to act in sinful ways. I am from south Louisiana and I am blessed to be of Acadian descent...a "Cajun" if you will. Cajuns are known to be lovers of spicy food, to enjoy poking fun at themselves, and more often than not, for enjoying the more-than-occasional adult beverage. I am guilty as charged. However, if I did not like spicy food I would still be a Cajun. See, I was born into the culture by virtue of my dad. My dad was fluent in both French and English, and my grandparents on my dad's side actually spoke more French than they did English. I cannot disclaim being a Cajun anymore than I can disclaim being a sinner. I was born into both.

I mentioned that Cajuns enjoy the more-than-the-occasional adult beverage. Which is a fancy way of saying they have a reputation as being hard drinkers; again, guilty as charged. I also happen to be the adult child of an alcoholic. My mom was an alcoholic for the majority of her life. She was drinking when she was pregnant with me (explains a lot, I know:-). Whether I drink or not will never change the fact that I was and am a child of an alcoholic. I was born into it.

And the battle cry is heard..."SO WHAT!? WHO CARES!?" And, taken a step further..."What am I supposed to do about it?"

The issue really comes down to will I react or respond to my life circumstance. (React being negative as in "the patient had a reaction to the medicine", vs. Respond being positive, as in "the patient is responding to the medicine".)

The philosophy applies to my life - all our lives - as sinners. We were all born into sin. So, "What are we supposed to do about it?" I think that that is what Paul was talking about when he says we are called to be saints. God blessed me with Free Will...with the ability to choose whether I react or respond to sin. The answer to the "Who Cares?" question is: God. God cares what you do about it. From Genesis to Revelation the bible documents our heavenly father's relentless pursuit of his wayward children. Because he cares he calls us to be saints - not just for him - but because he knows that when we act according to His will we will experience true joy.

If I think of myself as a saint first, then godly actions are expected and I become acutely aware of any action I take that is ungodly. If I think of myself as a sinner first, then ungodly actions are what are expected.

Let's take something that a lot of guys struggle with: pornography. Let's say I find myself alone in my home at my computer with time on my hands. If I consciously think of myself as a saint, it becomes really difficult to visit those sites. On the contrary, if I consciously think of myself as a sinner then my dalliances into the world of porn are not only accepted, but expected. "Of course I am spending time with my girls...I am a sinner, don't you know...didn't you hear the preacher call me a sinner on Sunday?"

Let's take another biggie for guys: anger. Let's say that my spouse/boss/child/ (you fill in the blank here) says or does something that has the potential to make me angry. If I consciously think of myself as a saint, I am more inclined to respond to the matter. If I think of myself as a sinner first, it is much easier to react in anger. In fact, if I consider myself a sinner I can typically find a way to justify my anger and be very self-righteous about it.

There's another aspect of this saint vs. sinner thing that is very insidious. If I consider myself a sinner rather than a saint by calling, I am much less inclined to hold a sinning brother or sister accountable. The logic goes like this: "I am a sinner because I did _____________ (again you fill in the blank). And, because I did _____________ ,who am I to tell someone else how to behave?" This is the great lie, of course, but many of us buy into it. I call this concept the Apathy of Hypocrisy…(kind of sounds like something Jesse Jackson might make up, doesn’t it?)

The concept of the “Apathy of Hypocrisy” will probably never be taught at the Candler School of Theology but (call it what you want) our understanding what it means is essential to our embracing the paradigm shift of thinking of ourselves as saints first rather than sinners. Since I made the concept up, I get to define it, right? So, the “Apathy of Hypocrisy” says that rather than appearing hypocritical for judging something in my present as compared to something in my past I will do nothing. It is very selfish, really.

The net effect of this concept could be stated as: “I care more about how I am perceived by others than I care about what is best for you.” It is the father who will not talk to his son about smoking pot because the father smoked pot as a teenager. It is the mother who won’t talk to her daughter about drinking and drugging because the mother struggled with the same issues in her past. It is the friend who lost his marriage because he was unfaithful failing to talk to his buddy when he knows his buddy is headed down a similar path.

One of the sales courses I took years ago taught the “feel, felt, found” approach to overcoming objections. Whatever objection a prospect gave could be handled with this simple technique: “I understand how you feel, I felt the same way, here’s what I have found….” I have found it to be a powerful sales tool and a powerful relationship tool. It helps you to find common ground and address concerns quickly. But, in the case of using it in relationship, it requires an aspect of transparency and that can be risky. To apply this technique in a relationship, I have to get over my fears of what you might think of me in order to help you.

The Apathy of Hypocrisy keeps us on the sidelines of life. It keeps us from fully engaging in the lives of those around us for fear of how it makes us appear. It is a selfish lie. The truth is: who better to remove a splinter from a brother’s eye than one who has removed a plank from his own eye? I understand how you feel. I have felt the same way. Here’s what I have found…

(Written 4/12/07 & 11/4/09)

"Fit to be Free"

“Fit to be Free”
Greg Martin

Early on in my working career I was a sponge for information. Every conference, convention or education session I went to I tried to soak up every new good idea I heard about. I didn’t implement them all, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. I am sure that everyone in my office hated it when I went to a meeting because I would come back all jazzed about the next great thing. The problem was that a lot of the advice and programs that had gone into orbit for others, failed to launch for us. We followed all the same formulas for implementation, used the same vendors, adopted the same vision and mission statements, used the same marketing techniques, and yet we simply did not get the same result. Their stuff just didn’t seem to fit quite right…and we often lost a lot of time and resources before we figured it out.

David knew how cumbersome and awkward it was to try to work with things that didn’t fit. With a persuasive speech that could not be denied, this shepherd boy convinced a king to let him go up against a giant. One of the little known facts about Saul is that, apparently he was quite the fashionista. Saul knew that you simply wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a stinky old shepherd’s tunic onto the battlefield (too much burlap and not enough metal I guess). So, Saul had compassion on David and outfitted David in Saul’s own tunic as well as a few pieces with a little more bling. Here’s how scripture records the moment in 1 Samuel 17:38: “Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head.”

When I buy a new pair of shoes I have to take a few steps in them…just to make sure they don’t bind, pinch or slip in the wrong places. I guess Dave knew that too. He was all dressed up in Saul’s stuff and about to go into battle, he needed to know if he could fight in this borrowed equipment: v.39a “David fastened on his own sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them.” Apparently it was not a good fit because he told Saul the same thing I tell shoe salespeople when my shoes don’t fit, v.39b: “’I cannot go in these,’ he said to Saul, ‘because I am not used to them.’ So he took them off.”

About 10:30 last Saturday night God reminded me of this story. The speaker a neighboring church had lined up for their laity Sunday cancelled, and a friend asked me if I’d fill in. I had known about the gig all week and had been giving some thought time to it but hadn’t sat down to put anything on paper…until the night before of course. In search of inspiration (okay, I started out about four hours earlier looking merely for inspiration. By 10:30 I had made the leap from inspiration-seeker to information-thief and was willing to outright steal anything I could find. Did I mention this was my first preaching gig? Well, it was. I was starting to freak out, get the picture?) I was covered up in books, and had spent hours scouring the internet trying to find someone else’s armor to put on. The problem was that none of them fit. And, to make matters worse, I was missing the LSU v. Auburn game while I was looking. (I wonder what David was missing while Saul was putzing with David’s outfit?)

God answered my prayer for inspiration by reminding me of the story of David and then telling me to quit trying to force myself into armor that didn’t fit. After putting up a pitiful fight with God, I closed all the reference materials, quit searching for other people’s sermons I could steal and instead, focused on developing the pieces that God had given me several days prior.

It ended up being a pretty decent message, I think. It tied with the theme of laity Sunday, it had a little humor, it was grounded in scripture, it sought to honor the clergy, and inspire the laity. It had an introduction, body and conclusion. It didn’t run too long. Shoot, I even issued a challenge at the end just like grown up preachers do.

I think the main thing was that – because the message was mine - I had complete peace about delivering it. I was able to free myself up to the Holy Spirit’s promptings to make real-time connections to people in the congregation, the programs that I learned of that morning that the church was involved in, the other speakers participating in the service who were also out of their comfort zones, etc. Because I was comfortable where I was I could focus on others. The potential for a message to be impactful is partly what is said and partly how it is said. Once I was comfortable with what God wanted me to say, I was free to focus on how he wanted me to say it.

I think this is a powerful message for all aspects of our lives as well as the groups we are a part of. Whether it is our approach to a job, a relationship, finances, a diet, a ministry, a program, or a sermon, if we are not feeling comfortable using someone else’s plan as a model we will never be free to be able to hear the still small voice that God often speaks to us in. If you have ever put on a pair of shoes that are a size or two too small, you know just how quickly pain or discomfort causes you to shift your focus away from others and onto yourself.

God is all about our being free. Jesus died to free us from the bondage of sin. God gave us the perfect fit for our lives. Through his Word he gave us the model for a life of freedom. That when we simply do what the Word of God says we have complete freedom. We weren’t created to sin. When we sin – when we try to put on something was not designed for us - it inevitably produces discomfort or pain and our eyes turn inward.

I’m not an advertising executive. But if I was and was challenged to reduce this concept to a few word slogan to make it memorable, I might call it: “Fit to be Free.” My prayer for me, and you, is that we all come to know - and act on the knowledge - that we are “Fit to be Free.”

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"Nibbling the Vine"

“Nibbling the Vine”
Greg Martin

“You’re not an herbivore, you’re a carnivore!” my daughter reminded and admonished Roxy, as Roxy was trying to eat a vine growing in our front yard. Now, to be fair, Roxy has shown reasonably average intelligence but she is, after all, a dog. There are people I know who might pause a minute to remind themselves of the distinction between herbivores and carnivores. Roxy may have understood the exasperated tone in my daughter’s voice, but I’m fairly certain that Roxy did not stop nibbling the vine because she had an “aha!” moment and thought: “Oh yeah, I forgot…how silly of me. I’m a meat eater. Gosh, what was I thinking?”

I wonder sometimes, if we as Christians can see some of ourselves in that exchange. I will never forget, years ago, long before I bought my first bible, I was attending a Sunday school class and one of the ladies in the class was making the point that – as Christians - we all had to possess “broken and contrite hearts.” I was sitting there nibbling a vine when she reminded me that I was a carnivore. “Oh yeah, I forgot…how silly of me. I’m a Christian. Gosh, what was I thinking?”

I didn’t know what a “broken and contrite heart” was but I could tell from her tone of voice that it was something important. The problem was that I grew up in a culture that taught me that it was bad to break things…sort of like those little signs in country stores stuffed with knick knacks that say “You break it you bought it.” If being a Christian meant I had to have a broken heart you could count me out. I wasn’t buying what she, or the bible, was selling. And, as for the “contrite” part, I didn’t have a clue what that meant.

This lady in my Sunday school class became a friend of ours and, while her method of communicating often was a challenge for me, I came to appreciate her heart for the Lord. I have to admit though that she intimidated me for several years with the language she used. She didn’t mean to intimidate me – she just did. When people are intimidated they tend to withdraw. If the intimidation continues one of two things typically happens: they either depart permanently, or they begin to arm themselves and to push back. I hate running away from problems so I started arming myself.

Over the next several years I took three 50+ week long bible studies. I began facilitating small group bible studies and somewhere along the line I remembered that I was a carnivore. I stopped trying to live on milk and I had begun to feast on the meat of the Word of God. Somewhere in the process I found myself having to be more and more conscious of the manner in which I communicated Christ to others. If I was not careful, I too might find myself declaring that, as Christians, we must have broken and contrite hearts.

See that whole “broken and contrite heart” thing comes straight out of Psalm 51. King David had committed adultery with this hottie named Bathsheba and this dude who was like his accountability partner (the Prophet Nathan) called Dave out for messing up. Dave apologizes like no one I have ever known. The entire Psalm is this mighty earthly king pouring his heart out his heavenly Father. Check out just a small excerpt:

¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

¹⁴ Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

¹⁵ O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

¹⁷ The sacrifices of God are ^[c] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

Now that’s an apology….like Larry the Cable Guy says: “I don’t care who you are.”

I may not have gotten what a “broken and contrite heart” was when I first heard it many years ago and out of context…but I get it now…when I know, as Paul Harvey says, “the rest of the story.”

I have a dear friend who led the first extended bible study I took. He used to remind us regularly that “Christ reaches us where we are or we will never be reached.” I guess the point of this is that when we are sharing Christ with others we need to be conscious of reaching people where they are, even if where they are is nibbling a vine.

July 2009

"Jeet Yet?"

"Jeet yet?"
Greg Martin

Southern humorist Jeff Foxworthy has made a career out of observing and commenting on the speech, methods and mannerisms of people; particularly people who have been raised south of the Mason-Dixon line. Through his "You Might Be a Redneck If..." shtick, he has taught the world that "redneck" is not a term of derision, but rather a moniker to be worn proudly by a people who are true to, and find great humor in, laughing at themselves. He has captured, penned, and defined an entire new dictionary of colloquialisms regularly used by his chosen people. One of Foxworthy's hallmark observations is the expression "Jeet yet?" Which any good redneck knows is translated "Did you eat yet?" What a great question!

I love questions. Questions are powerful. Ask any good psychologist, counselor, facilitator, teacher, or trainer if they had to give up either: 1) the ability to make declarative statements, or 2) the ability to ask questions, which would they choose. I believe that they would vote unanimously to keep the ability to ask questions.

In "Tribes", Seth Godin's recently released book on leadership, he says this: "People don't believe what you tell them. They rarely believe what you show them. They often believe what their friends tell them. They always believe what they tell themselves." What we tell ourselves, more often than not, comes as a response to questions we ask ourselves or others ask us. Which is why I believe that most of life's challenges can solved not with answers, but with asking the right questions...and "jeet yet?" ranks up there with one of the best questions we can ask ourselves.

I was meeting with a friend recently who struggles with temptations surrounding pornography. I don't currently have in my inner circle a friend named "Bob" so let's call this friend Bob. One of the questions I asked Bob was "What have you been feeding yourself?" The old cliché about computers of "garbage in, garbage out" absolutely applies to our bodies, and our minds as well as to our laptops.

Please allow me a brief aside about the consequences of feeding our bodies poorly...In 2004 filmmaker Morgan Spurlock shocked the world with his documentary on the ill-effects of fast food in his award winning film "Super Size Me". Spurlock started his epic journey with a very simple question: "Why are Americans so fat?" For 30 days Spurlock didn't eat or drink anything that wasn't on McDonald's menu; he had to eat three squares a day; he had to consume everything on the menu at least once and super size his meal if asked. The negative effects on his body, as quantified by the medical community, were immediate and dramatic. One commentator put it this way: "Spurlock's grueling drive-through diet spirals him into a physical and emotional metamorphosis that will make you think twice about picking up another Big Mac." Garbage in - garbage out. Jeet yet?

Back to my conversation with Bob…he had had several weeks without "incident". I asked him what he had been feeding himself. Not physically, but rather what had he been feeding his mind? What input had he subjected himself to? What images, conversations, words had he consumed? His answer was shocking in what it revealed about him, and I think, about a lot of us. When asked what he had been feeding himself, my friend replied: "Nothing." Really? Nothing? His response was limited by his view of what he thought was necessary for him to succeed in his struggle, namely: consciously abstaining from actively engaging in activities that feed his temptation.

Abstaining from activities that feed our temptations is essential...but it is only one part of a three-part process with the other two parts being awareness and affirmative action. If we rely upon abstinence alone we are doomed to failure. We eventually grow weary of the struggle, we stop being watchful, and before long we find ourselves giving in to temptation - again - and wondering what went wrong.

Awareness is one of the primary keys to success. 1 Peter 5:8 says: "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." Consider the area in which you struggle. If you knew that you had an enemy whose sole purpose was to do anything possible to cause you to stumble, would you fight this enemy by simply abstaining from that which tempts you? Or, might you abstain while wielding a sword and being ever watchful?

Back to Bob…when asked "Whadjaeet?" ("What have you been feeding yourself?") and he said "Nothing;" do you really believe that? Do you think he lived, worked and played for weeks without subjecting himself to images, words, and conversations? Of course not. He had simply abstained from the obvious and credited his success to his own action.

The garbage in - garbage out comparison between computers and our minds falls apart in that computers can be turned off. Our minds on the other hand are constantly receiving and processing information. In other words we are never feeding ourselves "nothing". Just the opposite; we are in fact, consciously or subconsciously, relentlessly gorging on information. Billboards, magazine covers, emails, television, music, text messages, phone calls, conversations... even scents, scream at us seeking to tempt us directly, or to distract us from the goal in order that we may be tempted. 1 John 2:16 says: "For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world."

Whether we are trying to abstain from pornography, or anger, or spending beyond our means, or even that extra slice of cheesecake, "the world" that John writes of is only too willing to tempt us with the lust of our eyes. Like it or not, God made Satan the boss of "the world", and he is not limited by only tempting us with the lust of the eyes...he makes full use of all 5 senses. Have you ever heard, smelled, felt, or tasted something that takes your mind immediately to another place or time? And, are those places that you go in your mind always good places?

I can hear a certain song and immediately feel what I felt when that song initially associated itself with my memory. My wife and I first kissed to Led Zepplin's 70's hit song "Stairway to Heaven". Whenever I hear that song it stirs up old thoughts and memories...that's a good thing.

Had he been asked to expand upon the concept, John might have written about the lust of the nose. Sounds funny doesn't it? But, scents are powerful emotional triggers and Satan is not above using them to tempt us. There's a great line in one of my favorite movies, "Silverado" where Kevin Cline walks into a saloon, takes a deep breath and says: "I love the smell of a good saloon". I suspect that most of you know that smell...a mixture of stale beer, sweet whiskey, and second-hand smoke. I admit it - I too love the smell of a good saloon.

Have you ever noticed that printed matter has a distinct smell? Walk into any library and pay attention to what it smells like. I love that smell. I love books. I love to read. Magazines have a unique smell all their own. I don't know if it is the paper or the ink, but magazines smell differently even than books. In years past, I spent so much time with my nose stuck in "dirty magazines" that - even now - I can pick up a copy of something as innocuous as "Good Housekeeping" and, if I am not aware, the subtle scent associated with sinful behavior can trigger a line of thinking, and even action, that is not healthy...and I never even saw it coming.

Abstinence is not enough. Awareness is not enough. I can abstain from eating cheesecake and be aware that I have an enemy that wants me to eat that cheesecake, but if I don't fill my belly with good food, I will eventually starve. I can abstain from looking at porn. I can be aware that I have an enemy that wants me to look at porn but, if I do not take affirmative action to fill the void left by the absence of the poor behavior, I will still fail.

Affirmative action is not defined here in the governmental sense as a set of actions designed to eliminate discrimination, but rather as positive movement toward a pre-determined goal. The affirmative action, stated in terms in keeping with the theme of this devotional, can best be summarized using Checker's (the fast-food hamburger chain) current ad campaign "Ya Gotta Eat".

Jesus ate and we need to follow His example - we "gotta eat". The 4th chapter of Matthew tells of the temptation of Christ. Jesus had abstained from food - for "forty days and nights" scripture tells us. Jesus was certainly aware of the enemy. That part is rather obvious by virtue of the fact that Jesus was engaged in dialogue with him. Christ being who He is could have defeated temptation however He wanted. I believe that He modeled this approach for our sakes - that we might learn by His example. When tempted by the devil to use His power to turn stones to bread to feed His hungry physical body, Christ instead was able to defeat temptation because - previously - He had fed on the Word of God. In the process Christ gives us an object lesson on the very scripture He uses to defeat temptation.

Christ answers the devil by quoting from the 8th chapter of Deuteronomy "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." Because He had fed on what the Word of God has to say about feeding on the Word of God He was able to defeat the devil. Wow. I mean really...wow. (Ah...to be able to teach like Jesus!).

So, what's the bottom line here? Defeating temptation requires abstinence, awareness, and affirmative action. A simple way to help us remember this is to regularly ask ourselves and those we care about one complex theological question...jeet yet?

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November 2008

"Pitching Hissys"
Greg Martin
May 2009

It was about 1991. We were young parents with young children. We had a 5-year-old daughter (Taylor) and a 2-year-old son (Tucker). Our daughter was the perfect angel. She made us want more children. At two, all my son made me want was a vasectomy. He is a passionate man now. He was a passionate child then. The difference is that, at two, his passion manifested itself in what the child experts of the day called "temper tantrums." There are lots of other names for this behavior most of which use sports metaphors that involve "pitching" or "throwing" as in "he threw a fit" or "he pitched a hissy fit," or the abbreviated version which is my favorite: "he pitched a hissy." I don't know what exactly a "hissy" is but I know it is not good. And, Tucker pitched a lot of them.

To make matters worse, he was unnaturally attached to a pair of red cowboy boots that belonged to his sister and that were about three sizes too big for him. He never wanted them off of his feet. When we tried to get him to wear something else, or to take the boots off he would pitch a hissy. He actually wore holes on the tops of the toes of the boots from dragging them behind him as he rode his scooter. Even as a young parent you learn to pick your battles with your children. So, most days - including church on Sundays - Tucker could be seen wearing his red cowboy boots with the holes on top.

Pitching a hissy was bad enough, pitching a hissy while wearing nothing but a diaper and cowboy boots was something to behold. (I had a cousin that did this once, but he was an adult and I seem to remember the cops being called, but we don't talk about that much.) Anyway, such was Tucker's attire the day I penned the poem below.

I have always enjoyed writing, but never been too much on poetry. Tucker was pitching a hissy in his room because he did not want to take a nap. He was kicking his boots against his closed bedroom door while screaming "Mommy!," "my Mommy!" o v e r and o-v-e-r again to try to get out of taking a nap. Over about a 45-minute period - until he fell asleep - he changed the inflection on those two words to sound pleading, demanding, angry, and pitiful. He tried a variety of volume options from screaming, to shouting, to talking, and finally to whispering.

My wife and I, like most young parents, pretty much stayed exhausted from the rigors of life. A nap for us was a cherished rarity. For a two-year-old a nap was torture. With the sounds of Tucker kicking and screaming in my ears, the contrast hit me and before the hissy fit had subsided, I had written the poem below.

While I named as I did, it could just as easily have been titled "A Two-Year-Old's Torture." Any parent who has raised young children can relate to this difficult season that most children go through.

"Tucker’s Torture"
Greg Martin
Written circa 1991

Mommy!! My Mommy!!
I hear you wail through your bedroom door.
Compared to me Sadaam’s who’s sane
If I hear that scream once more.

You plead for release from that awful place
Upon which you lay your head.
As if your very life depends upon
Separation from your bed.

Your mom and I would kill
To take a 20 minute nap, so
I’m afraid we don’t share your feelings
For your feather-pillowed trap.

So for now my little angry angel
The only freedom you shall reap
Is that which ever-so-slowly comes
When you finally fall asleep.

"The Things They Carried"
Greg Martin
Originally written 10/26/2008

Tim O'Brien wrote a bestseller a while ago entitled "The Things They Carried". It was about the Vietnam war and the men that fought there. The author went into fascinating detail about what soldiers carried with them into battle...from the quantity and weight of their weapons and ammunition to each man's issue of MRE's (Meals Ready to Eat), to the contents of their first aid kits, to the dog tags that hung around their necks. He also talked about the things that they carried that were not provided to them by the U. S. Government, many of which were heavier than what they were issued: fear, resentment, anger, confusion, insecurity, uncertainty, feelings of betrayal, guilt and shame.

Some of us, I suspect, carry some of these things as well as we march through life. Along with the tools of our trade: blackberries and Nextels, keys to the things we own (or that own us?), our money clips, credit cards, business cards, sales brochures, legal briefs, hammers, or wrenches, we carry some other things as well.

Maybe it is fear of failure that you carry. Maybe it is fear that someone will discover that you are not who you think you are expected to be, or that you do not know something that you think you are expected to know. Maybe you are in a tough spot financially or in regards to your health and you find yourself having to depend upon the assistance of others. Maybe you carry some long-festering resentment held toward a spouse or child who does not "understand you".

Maybe you are angry like the cowboy in the Willie Nelson ballad the Red Headed Stranger and you are harboring some deep sorrow and looking for an excuse to fight so that it might make you feel better if only for the moment. And, all the while those who love you are "walking on eggshells", singing the chorus, and praying that the angry man will ride on and the man they love will come home:

Don't cross him, don't boss him.
He's wild in his sorrow:
He's ridin' an' hidin his pain.
Don't fight him, don't spite him;
Just wait till tomorrow,
Maybe he'll ride on again.

It is a reasonable assumption that the apostle Paul's friend, co-worker, and protege carried some things with him too - and not just a cloak and a staff and sandals. He too carried things with him into his life and ministry and service to others that did not hang from his body. He was a half-breed (his father was Greek and his mother was a Jew), lacking in self-confidence, prone to fear and insecurity. And, because of these weaknesses the apostle Paul penned what has become my life verse: 2 Tim 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

God has not given me a spirit of fear. When I am fearful it is not of God. If there is an area of my life that I am experiencing fear, then I am failing to trust God with that part of my life. If I am fearful over finances, provision, relationships, health, etc. then what I am saying is that I trust that God can handle the other stuff in my life...but this part (the part I am fearful over) He can't handle. So, I think I will help Him with it by being fearful. That typically doesn't work so well for me...how about you?

Instead, God has given us a spirit of power and of love and of a sound mind. I don't know about you, but I like that a lot better. I have been through seasons of my life where I have walked in fear so deeply that my wife, who knows me better than anyone but God and me, said that she could "smell" the fear I was in.

Let me say too, that when I was living in fear, that I felt not empowered - but weak, not love, lovable nor loving. And, if you could have peeked inside of my head you would have run screaming from the building because mine was not a "sound mind".

As you continue on your march through life, there may be times that you are tempted to reach into your backpack and pull out a spirit of fear. Instead remember that you carry with you all the things you need and that they will see you through any and every situation. They were tucked away in your pack long before you were even conceived. They were placed there by the Creator of the Universe who loves you more than you can possibly imagine. Power and Love and a Sound Mind are three things we all need to be reminded that are part of the things we carry everywhere we go.

"May I Have This Dance?"
Greg Martin
Originally written February 2009

My mom taught dance. When we were little, my mom would drag me (and before me, my brothers and sisters) out onto the dance floor and make an absolute fool of herself with us on the dance floor. In the process she taught us that the the dance floor was not a place of fear or intimidation, but a safe place, a place where you could get really silly and have a lot of fun. She made sure we got formal instruction as we got older, but the fun came first. As a result, when it came time for formal instruction we couldn't wait to sign up. We are old(er) now, my siblings and I. At the last family wedding we all still danced - one of us with a cane and one of us with a walker - but we all danced and laughed, and thought of Mamma.

Her lesson has come back to me over the years with my own children: if I could show the fun first, in whatever the endeavor, when it was time for formal instruction there was never any argument; they couldn't wait to sign up. Maybe there is a lesson there about the connection between fun and motivation for our workplace, our families, our spouses, our children, our grandchildren, our friends, our churches...

Mamma was raised during the depression. Her family took in boarders in order to make ends meet. Long after the depression, until she died in fact, Mamma's door was always open, and there was always enough food for who ever showed up. She hated excluding anyone from anything. Everyone was always welcome in our home, and at our table. (This caused some interesting boundary issues between my wife and I early on in our marriage. For some reason, my wife didn't understand why I wanted our home to be a "flop house".)

Mamma has been gone for many years now. I don't find myself missing her much anymore. Most days she chose alcohol over us. But, I rarely dance without her being on the dance floor with me - it is one of the few points of positive connection I had with her.

Anyway, I think she'd really like the video below; it is about fun, and dance, and inclusion. It is also a powerful reminder that dance is not confined to a 15' x 15' square of parkay flooring available only at the occasional family wedding. I have danced in my kitchen, on the beach, on top of a mountain, and in the bed of a pickup truck parked in a yucca field in Nicaragua surrounded by shovels and fresh chicken eggs. I have danced in tuxedos, cutoff bluejeans, swimsuits and, yes, I have danced naked. I can't say that I was dancing naked as David did before the Lord, although last night I did dance (clothed, unfortunately) in church to the sounds of the African Children's Choir (http://www.africanchildrenschoir.com/).

The lyrics of the chorus of Lee Ann Womack's hit song seem a fitting conclusion to this post: "...when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance."

Click Here for the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY